so sian k..
everybody goin ntu like tt..
grace goin ntu psychology..
jas goin ntu..
peiling appealing ntu..
zhi heng goin ntu com engin..
guo yang oso goin ntu..

but nvm..
jes n mel goin nus sci..
juliana goin nus chem engin..
jay goin nus com engin..

ytd met up wid hui qian for dinner at clarke quay..
hong kong noodles plus lime juice..
den after tt she brought me to listen to the mlm thing..
enyouth

den was intro to chris, jason, sandy..
see cars.. hoho..

lunch i had mixed rice..
chicken cutlet, toufu and cabbage..
eat half only..
i know i very sinful.. coz keep wasting food..

i m so sick now..
cough, sore throat, sneeze, headache, fever.. =(

narnia 9.50pm wid jes at cwp =)

ok, i am goin crazy.. 1 sec put sad face, another sec put smiley face..

sun went over to msia..
jb n other areas..
bought 4 tops..
den walk ard the fair..
car broke down at msia checkpt..

mon work..
very tired lo..
plus mon blues..

tue was bad..
having menses cramp..
roy yue joke shldnt b worst than giving birth..
so left workplace early..at 3pm..
suppose to meet zhi xian for dinner..
but i seriously not feeling well.. hence canceled..

jay talked to me in msn..
he lost his patience on me.

had salad for dinner at coffeebean..
sex n the city at shaw century..

long but nice..
a girl movie..
wateva each individual faces..
she has a frenz there.. always for her..

after e movie.. teared rolled..
i tried to tilt my head back..
yup. emotions overwhelmed..
2nd time i cried for this guy..

responsibilities that i m held to..
i m tired but i dun1 any disappointments..
no more throwing of tantrums..

n i guess tt y i cried..
suppressed too long..
pretending to be strong..
assuring u tt i m alright..
( n i got hit coz of samantha.. in the movie)

didnt hv good slp..
4am my house phone rang twice..
i hv 1 phone in my room..
so seriously affected la..
my uncle call for my dad..
they leaving for beijing/shang hai..

try to slp.. but hv nightmare..
very funny n weird..
is like war like tt.. i m one of the victims..
wid many ppl.. playing hide n seek.. (dun let the enemy catch)
crawling tunnel, for own survival..
den i saw familar faces..
i saw jun jie (from sec sch de), pei jun (from pri sch de)..
cant remeber exactly how it ended..

afternoon went ntu tea session at marriot hotel..
listen to talk for a while..
den indulge in some food..

after tt left for window shopping along orchard..
need to get:
1. issey miyake male perfume..
lucky plaza is selling for $65..
gotta wait for dad to come back from beijing..
to check out the discounted price from sg changi airport..
want to get:
1. 1 more bag big enf to put laptop..
2. more novels from kinokuniya..

i went from orchard (far east, wisma, taka)
to somerset (heeren), wei ren not in queens (went outing wid colleague), heri not in fourskins (went home back in indo), to doby ghaut (plaza sing), to bugis (bugis junction)..
bugis desserts n omelette rice!

ok, i tdy hv this impluse of really gettin into action..
into seriously learn driving..
hv been procastinating for past few months..
so disturb the following ppl..

joshua was on his way to clarke quay to drink wid his poly frenz..
so he ask me if i want to go..
n i was at bukit panjang..
so sad cant go wid him..
coz tml hv to wake up early to go jb..

he told me tt..
fastest to learn the practical n get the license is 1 month..
there is 7yr n 10yr loan..
10yr loan interest higher..
get a simple car ard 55k.. he told me to get e honda duno wat le..
den ask parents pay down payment of 20k..

boss did a cost-benefit analysis for me.. hoho.. (economics)..
the cost for monthly installments, road tax, tyre, car park, petrol, service, insurance, etc..
add up to 1.4k..
so he was suggesting me to take cab instead..
i still can upgrade a phone every month wid e sum of money..
but i calculated.. if i take cab everyday, twice a day..
add up to 1.2k wor..

den he say me la..
i only know how to push reponsibility..
as in i only do the things that i like to do..
a sucessful person will do the things even if he/she dun like..

i either getting the blue police advance theory book from wei ren, jes or joshua..
goin to book the theory test at bukit batok de.. (my frenz say now hv to wait till jul)
coz nearer to nus..
i hv decided in goin nus..
next mon will go accept, applying for hostel oso..

i was asking john..
he got no idea of the car thingy..
well.. his family own 2 cars, n he has his own bike..
n john and yayan were together when he was sec 4, she was sec 1..
now they are both in ntu.. he 24 (turning 25), she 21..
so they are engaged le..
mayb rom end of this year.. cool..

jay got no idea too..
ya, his dad pays all..

boss was telling me how i can support the car when i in uni..
bt he oso added, i shld save up instead, ( so means not to buy car la), next time do investments..
i told joshua abt paying the installments n study uni at same time..
joshua re was..
tt how u push yourself sometimes..

i m assured.. because there is ppl there willing to guide me..
thanks n loves.. =)

dine at mac, tam mall..
apple pie n ice milo..

went to watch indiana jones at century sq..

nice.. abit like treasure hunt thingy..
like the national treasure type..
alright, honestly i didnt watch e 1st - 3rd de..
a good catch la..
crystal skull, skelton, jungle, monkeys, killer ants, waterfalls,gold, aliens..
returning the crystal skull to the rightful owner..
ppl betrays coz of money..
ppl die for gold..

actually i m quite excited to go uni..
i m goin to apply for hostel..
nt necessary will get into oso..
coz got many foreign ppl come, plus nid to c past cca records oso..

mama say uni sch 1 week sometime 4 days only de..
if i get hostel.. live 2 sem oso can b quite fun ma..
but mum goin to cancel home broadband..
den i sure will go apply for vodaphone..

my past few years of education doin sci stream de..
den now change to arts.. oso abit weird..
mel was asking y i dun1 to do sci le..
i was thinking i dun1 come out be researcher lei..
n i m not interested in engineering..
tt e reason y i didnt take h2 phy in the 1st place ma..
den suay suay canot get into biz/ acc..

den nus fass only 2nd yr den allow u to major..
let me do a lil of intro.. lol..
there is 3 division ar..
1. asian studies: chinese language, chinese studies, malay studies, south asian studies, southeast asian studies
2. humanities: english language, english literature, history, philosophy, theatre studies
3. social sciences: communications & new media, economics, geography, political science, psychology, social work, sociology

den i have to take 5 sub in yr 1.. but muz choose at least 1 from each division..
under humanities got prob ar..
coz eng lan, eng lit n theatre studies, h1 gp muz get b, if not do the test la..
so i only left wid his n philosophy..
i decided on philosophy.. his i really cannot do ey..
philosophy is abt critical thinking, probs solving..
quite applicable next time for work la..
i oso decided on taking southeast asian, chi studies, econs n sociology..
(but i haven accept to go nus yet ok.. wait for ntu tea session over den decide)

jes most prob goin nus oso..
but her sch is so far from mine!

i even look up for laptop/tablet to buy..
can consider: asus, fujitsu, sony vaio, apple, compaq
nono: dell n acer

now waiting for it fair..
if u want to buy from sch oso can la..
but my frenz say it fair the price mayb same, but got freebies or wat..
below the links u can check it out the sch hv which vendor..
http://www.nus.edu.sg/comcen/notebook/model.htm
http://www.ntu.edu.sg/CITS2/computerdeals/notebook.asp
for smu ppl, sry. go look for yaself.. lol..
coz i no intention of goin there..

den i now goin to talk abt cca..
i goin to join student council/ ambassador..
wateva they call it there..
intially i nv think of cca, n quite reject the idea of student council de..
but jordan was telling me..
student council beautify the testimonial..

next time u go interview..
den the boss ask abt ya past cca..
if u join those sport..
the most u can say is u have teamwork (some sport doesnt invovle team oso), physical body (built up muscles)
which is a plus pt for jobs like construction work,fitness consultant or pe teacher..

but if join council different le..
u can tell boss u have good leadership, communication, organization skills..
which i believe is very applicable when u want work in CBD area..

ya. i m realistic/practical person.
whether u want to accept.

i want to get a guy rich enf to support me..
how many of my frenz's parent actually break up coz of money.. eek..
prevention is better than cure isnt it..

n ar..i have a frenz..
wanted to go oversea to further study..
but parents cant afford..
den my frenz kind of blame the parents.. hai..

though money cannot buy u everything..
for eg. ppl say happiness..

let me quote u..
if both very sweet, in love.. but no money..
wah.. later want to marry.. problem..
worst come to worst hor..
have wedding dinner at void deck..
let the whole neighbourhood laugh.. (it true k)

den nid to buy house, buy car,etc.. (jia lat.. take loan)
lagi worst.. got baby.. milk powder, education very ex..
no money.. den quarrel..
den oso become no happines le ma..
play safe la.. lol..
at least have enough to liveby.. =)
contradiction: love conquers all regarless..

hoho.. its too late to go back to the past..
when u are still young, pure n innocent..
this world out there.. the adult world..
not so easy afterall ey..

mayb ppl is goin to hate me after reading this..
bt i m sry.. this is wat i see..
wat has happen to ppl ard me..
i dun want this to happen on me ey..
(neither do u right, if u have a choice)
yes i hv changed.. perspectives that ppl told me..

my msn nick say can i still believe in miracles..
n jordan told me there is miracles when u believe..
from the song, prince of eygpt de..
n it biblical.. coz believing is seeing..
well, i received one tdy..

n i didnt realised my miracles was spelled as mircales..
till ytd joshua kor kor tell me..
he oso informed me he juz change chi name..
from lee jun(4) to lee yong(3) jin(4)..
master ask him to change..

though i tot lee jun sound nicer..
he is not from china la..
sg de ok.. nth against china..
well sympathy goes out to all the injured/ dead in the earthquake..

i was bugging guo yang kor kor abt the laptop n tablet stuffs..
will be asking him out for dinner b4 he go ns..
i seriously goin to MISS him can..

i was thinking how i goin to pass gary all my notes..
there is like 3 stacks..
n he live at ghim moh, buona vista.. faints..

i dunno wat has become of me..
he tried to sms me..
tried to talk to me on msn..
tried to talk to me on phone..
tried to love me again..
yet.. its all fruitless..
all ya sweettalk is not working on me anymore..

perhaps i didnt really love him anymore..
seriously.. mayb its juz an excuse..
or it is juz tt i didnt want to commit to him anymore..
i m sry.

when will my blog.. doesnt carries him anymore..
i mean we can b real good frenz..
but i dun want implications..
no strong emotions..
no negative feelings..

told boss..
goin to work till jul 5..

there are things where the is no why..
as in no answer towards the question..

alson is frustrated coz i keep asking..
like he needs to report to me like tt..
n he did rebuke me..
y did u still love ya ex..
if u can tell me a reason why..
tt means u dun love him le..

joshua kor kor reminded me..
make sure u have made e right choice..

its been long time since ppl hong me slp..
wen wei was asking..
y need to hong me slp..
why i cant slp?
(i m sad, i m down, i m depressed, there is too much things on my mind, i m crying)

well.. was smsing jay..
at the same time when i typing this blog..
yet i didnt feel any better..
i really felt tt i m very useless..
its been such long time..
yet i still cant..

张信哲 从开始到现在
the tune same as the winter sonata

如果这最后的结局
为何我还忘不了你
时间改变了我们
告别了单纯

如果重逢也无法继续
失去才算是永恒
惩罚我的认真
是我太过天真

woke up early in morning.
met grace at cwp at 10am..
went to nus fass open hse..

n after all e travelling..
i m seriously deciding on staying in hostel..
my sch since young all in wdl lei..

sat through many talks..
decided more or less what subjects i want to do in yr 1..
coz only 2yr den can major in the subject.
n i realise faculty of engineering and faculty of arts n social sci is relatively near..
had mac for lunch..
but still.. i goin to marriot hotel next sat for ntu econs tea session. b4 deciding..

ytd went to watch cong kak ytd at suntec..

malay horror..
but not nice lei..
abit exaggerative..
quite funny (dumb) at parts..

after tt went to rowell road ate dim sum..

2dae finally took proper meal at lunch..
porridge wid veggies n steamed meat..

mon is vesak.. woohoo! =)

alright.. enf of bgr..
oso hv to think of future rite..
ting hui share wid me this news..
the no. of uni applications this yr damn high..

http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_237072.html

UNIVERSITY applications surged this year to 58,606, up from 53,853 last year.

Of the total, 36,858 applications were from A-level students and 21,748 were from polytechnic graduates.

Most applied for two, if not all three, universities.

The increase occurred in spite of last year's batch of A-level school leavers being about 1,000 fewer than that of the year before.

Those eyeing a place in university this year had hoped it would be easier to get in, not only because of the smaller A-level batch, but also because of the Government's announcement that 25 per cent of the graduating cohort would be offered places, compared to 23 per cent last year.

In total, the three universities are offering 14,700 places this year.

The Ministry of Education (MOE), which released the latest application figures to The Straits Times, said the Government's announcement that university places would be increased might have encouraged more school leavers to apply this year.

University officials said that there were more repeat applicants this year - a quarter of the A-level applications were from repeat applicants. Last year, this group made up only 16 per cent of applications.

Students and parents, however, put the increase down to more aspiring to go to the university.

Said parent R. Velu: 'A degree is a must, so every A-level and polytechnic student who meets the cut-off will try.'

He admits that his son's scores - a B and three Cs - are average and may not get him a place. He is considering downgrading from the family's five-room HDB flat to send his son overseas (so jia lat)

University admission officials are unable to offer consoling words to parents like Mr Velu, whose son applied to study business, one of the most popular courses.(kns, i abc oso cant get into biz.. if he acc can get in.. kao. i sure complain)

Some of the courses are oversubscribed many times over, making it harder to get in without strong grades.

Like last year, the most sought-after courses this year include business, accountancy and arts and social sciences.(ya, that wat i sought after too)

National University of Singapore vice-provost (Education) Tan Thiam Soon asked students to consider any offer of a place, even if it is not in their top-choice course.

'Students think if they pick a course, they are locked into it. That's not the case. Universities allow a lot of flexibility in mixing and matching courses. Engineering students can do a second major or even a second degree in business or law. The future is for them to define,' he said.

Singapore Management University (SMU) officials also had similar advice. Its most sought-after course is business, but an SMU spokesman said its first batch of social science graduates have just completed their studies and many have been offered jobs in banks and multinational corporations.

However, applicants such as Miss Karen Teo, 20, felt that the Government should consider increasing the number of places in popular courses.

Said the Ngee Ann polytechnic graduate who hopes to study business or accountancy: 'I am just following my interest and passion.'

Her housewife mother, Madam Tan Ai Nah, 44, said the Government should be planning for a fifth university, not just a fourth.(say till so easy like tt, by the time built finish, i think already in workforce duno how many yrs le)

The MOE said it recognises the aspirations of young Singaporeans to pursue a university education and that is why it has significantly increased the number of university places over the years.

It is targeting to provide subsidised university places for 30 per cent of each cohort in 2015. On top of that, it is also providing generous subsidies for part-time degree students at the three universities and SIM University.

But a ministry spokesman said university places have to be increased in a measured way so as not to compromise standards. The ministry must also meet the economy's needs in planning for university places.

'We need to ensure that our university graduates are able to findgood jobs after graduation,' she said.(if not there will be massive fritional unemployment)

if you havent realised, if u get a place in uni, count yaself lucky. coz out of 58606 only 14700 places.

a post purely abt a chat conversation wid john..
talking abt bgr..
1st we talked abt jay..2ndly talked abt his sis..
(i know its pretty long, dun hv to re this post acutally..)

n jxauye = jay n xue.. intercepting..
peiling knew it..

alright i m still single now ok..

well.. in msn his nick is akira, my nick is very long.
but it was changed for simplicity..

john says: wao! u are attached already?
john says: omg!
xue says: nah, its complicated.
john says: -_-
john says: get it sorted out
john says: if not one of you will be hurt real bad
xue says: yup

xue says: do u really believe in promises?
john says: well, i believe that promises are broken most of the time
xue says: yea~
xue says: so sometimes sweet talk can hurt.
john says: what happen?
xue says: nah.. as in no pt saying all the sweet stuff.. n ppl actually break up
xue says: wat forever n ever, etc
john says: does he know that you like him?
xue says: my nick.. is wat he tell me ytd..
john says: so whats stopping you?
xue says: coz he is my ex
john says: ask yourself one qns
john says: do you like him?
xue says: yes

john says: you like him? he likes you?
john says: er? i don't understand
xue says: well, i like him, he like me
xue says: but we didnt dare to commit again
john says: hmmm..
john says: it's actually quite simple
john says: but y'all make it so difficult

xue says: like how simple?
xue says: haha.. i juz dun want to get hurt anymore
john says: did he cheat on you before?
xue says: ok.. i cheated on him b4.. emotionally..
xue says: i didnt went out wid the other guy at all
xue says: juz emotionally diverse
john says: hmmm
john says: it will hurt alot more when you see him move on
john says: cause he is a guy
john says: and we move on fast
john says: trust me

john says: eh, now he is in no interaction with girls
john says: cause he is in the army
john says:once he has the chance
xue says: i know
xue says: he goin to ord soon
xue says: n he is entering uni in the same period as me
john says: hmmm
john says: uni is a damn good place to get attached.. ha
john says: lucky Yan and i can thong
xue says: lol
john says: yeah
john says: think about it
john says: okay?
xue says: ok!
xue says: will de..

john says: just damn afraid you will become like my sister
john says: haha
xue says: y? wat happen?
john says: the guy she liked
john says: well they use to date
john says: they almost became official
xue says: n?
john says: till that guy
john says: turned the corner
xue says: hm, cheated on her
john says: well, they were never offical
john says: so you can't blame him
xue says: icic
xue says: so wat did ya sis did?
john says: she cut herself
xue says: oh no!
xue says: sian
john says: she spent her days locked up in her room crying
john says: yeah
john says: she really liked him
john says: she just gave up on herself can?
john says: my sister IS pretty can?
john says: that silly girl
xue says: so how is she now?
john says: better
xue says: great
john says: but i think she'll get attached in uni lar
xue says: haha
(i thought.. well, it really depends on if you are willing to let go and move on or not)
john says: eh my sec school/jc/army friends all like her can?!
xue says: woo~ den she nv like them?
john says: cause she's like my sister? so no one made a move
xue says: lol..
john says: then she's like abit dao also

xue says: so ya sis chose nus law?
john says: ya
john says: i think she chose it because it's near home
john says: ha
xue. says: oh
xue says: u live? (coz i only know he stay at ntu hostel)
john says: bukit timah
xue says: haha
xue says: which road?
john says: hillview dr at upper bukit timah
xue says: oh
xue says: condo?
john says: private
xue says: ic
xue says: my ex live 6th ave
john says: rich kidddd
xue says: u oso ma
xue says: lol
john says: where got?
john says: walao
john says: haha

well, his sis is oso very smart can..goin nus law.. same period as me..
they whole family does well in studies de..
John was from SAJC, now in ntu biz, last yr, last sem..
somemore they live in hillview.. upper bukit timah.. landed..
goin out to the guys goin nus..
look out for this babe.. =)
n really love her ok!

this is a jay n xue thingy..

jay actually initiates chat on msn this evening..
chatted from 5 plus till 6 plus..
Jay says: today not scolding me?
xue says: lol, scold you for wat..
(what happens ytd is copied n paste below.. )
den started talking cock..
talk abt places, talk abt what we do from ytd evening till now..

xue says: i still duno which uni to choose.
xue says: how ar?
Jay says: make your own decision
Jay says: no matter where you are, you still have me
xue says: nah, i dun think so.
Jay says: you dun want me le?
Jay says: ok lo..
xue says: lol, u will be fine w/o me..
Jay says: y u want to love me?
xue says: my heart say want to love u den love lo
Jay says: my heart also doesn't allow me to leave u
Jay says: no matter wad happened to us in the future...i luv you.
n he began to sweet talk..

what really stun me is that, b4 he go offline, to go out for dinner wid his sis..
Jay says: luv you deer
Jay says: tc
(if u notice, he spelled deer instead of dear..
yup i his deer, n he is my keeper..
n tt really something i tot it was special.. from those norm, like honey, baby, etc.. )

well, ytd i was fed up coz i told him i didnt want to be nice to him anymore..since he wasnt nice to me..
Jay says: i not nice to you?
xue says: where were you when i needed you?
xue says: u hv hurt me so many times
Jay says: coz you cheated on me
xue says: so y are you still talking to me now?
n i sounded agitated.. n etc..

xue says: u reminded me times n times again.
xue says: and it really make me feel so sick.
Jay says: sry
xue says: sry for wat.
Jay says: i shouldnt say this and hurt you.
xue says: forget it, talk to me again only when you promised yourself not to raise nicholas issue again.

it was like so long ago.. abt the nich issue..
so i put on my msn nick.
i cheated on you. wtf.
den after he ask me to change nick.. he didnt like tt..
i started attitude again..
xue says: y shld i?
xue says: y shld i always give in to u?

n tt e reason y i say a nah..
when eileen ask why we dont wan get back tgt
since we both love each other.
just put in more effort and time to mend e r/s
it's not that hard (:

not unless he can really trust me again..
tt wat silong told me on 1st sep 07..
aiya trust me no matter wat he say oso not use de..
even if he try his best oso sure wont trust u again de..
stop hurting each other more la..
just end it man.

9 months later.. true enf..
he actually raised this damn issue again..
hw can i nt get work up..

so jordan ask..
got a bf le ar?
i say no, its complicated. haha..
well, it ex.. we didnt patch..

13 may thur

was on the same bus wid aggie..
i waited for 168 at wdl from 9am till 9.25am like tt..
she waited at jln kayu at from 9.15am till 9.50am..
reached workplace at 10.30am..

joshua kor kor went sentosa tdy to tan..
well.. i not as carefree as him..
if nt i really like to go outing wid him..

went to watch speed racer at tam mall..
my frenz wasnt feeling tt good coz he did wrong quoation..

b4 tt went mac for dinner..
i didnt eat.. coz i was having sore throat..
all thanks to i eating up 1 packet of prawn crackers in 2 days..
n i came home, realise my throat bleeding..
its like when i spit out saliva, got blood.

12 may mon

i was asking gy kor kor which uni to go..
den he tell me to go ntu..
coz he got into ntu com engin..
cool.. i so happy for him can! ^^
if i go ntu, i will stay hostel..
mama agreed to pay for hostel..
n oso means i go find joshua kor kor easier..
coz he live in jurong..
at most ask him drive n come find me..

but i actually want to go nus de lei..
nvm, i go the session this sat den decide..
i told zhi heng actually he goin uni 2 years later than us..
so no pt ask him go stalk jay..

it was on today news..
accord to smu job survey, grads from SMU, the top 20% wage earners enjoy monthly starting salaries of $5,600.
Most of these highly paid graduates are employed in investment banking or management consulting.
to SMU, its top nine highest wage earners draw between $8,000 and $10,000. (wao!)
618 graduates found a job before or within six months of their graduation last year. Out of these respondents, 519 graduates, or 84 per cent did so within a month.
About 2/3 of respondents had received multiple job offers, ranging from between two and 10 offers. (wao!)
About half the respondents are in the banking, finance, auditing and accounting sectors, while the rest are employed in a range of sectors including services and consulting.

so would u consider smu? haha..

talked to jay on msn..
started as peaceful..
turned angry..
basically, i lost my cool n started throwing temper on him..
he apologised 3 times.. i apologised once..
probably its our last conversation..
from bgr to frenz to _____
i serious nid to get a new date.. lol..

supposed to go dinner wid joshua..
but his work eneded 9.20pm.
hence i told him other day ba..

11 may sun

happy mama day..

i went to slp only at 5am..woke up at 12pm..
had dinner wid 2 other families at some resturant at bukit timah..
my cousin goin smu..
he very funny..
he says even though the sch fees is 3k higher..
but save on transport.. -_-"
mum says if i go ntu, sure nid to stay hostel..
coz ntu very ulu.. lol..

sat 10 may

was 20mins late for svc..
n my phone was running low..
evening boss pass by singpost, pass me the car charger..

went marina sq for dinner..
carl jr, chicken salad..
after tt went suntec..
watched made of honour..

tom n hannah were good friends for 10 yrs..
when hannah goes to Scotland on a business trip, tom is stunned at how empty life is without her. thus tom decide to propose to her when she returns.
(but its too late).. hannah returns and she is engaged to a Scotsman, colin..
(the story goes like this) hannah was stuck in the middle of the road, n cows start to gather ard her car..
den colin happen to passby, riding a horse n recuse hannah.. (ying xiong jiu mei)
tom agrees to be her 'maid' of honor so that he be ard hannah..
stop the wedding, snatch the bride..

story's ending as usual.. happily ever after..
just like over her dead body, what happen in vegas..

this song was played in the movie..
stop crying your heart out.. by oasis..
so i was goin.. woo.. i like this song..

cos all of the stars
are fading away
just try not to worry
you'll see them some day
take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

jay smsed me..
told him i was sorry
perhaps i wasnt good enf..
(partly due to the song mentioned above)..

fri 9 may

pulut hitam during lunch, lor mai kai for tea, coffeebean vanilla ice blend n rasberry cheesecake for supper..
went to shaw century sq watched what happen in vegas..

the guy was fired by his boss, which is his father..
the gal was ditched by bf on his birthday..
both went to sin city.. las vegas..
got drunk, got high.. went married..

the guy won a huge jackpot after playing the gal's quarter..
den the judge freeze the money for 6 months..
when they want to divorce..
but the judge ask them to try to get along for this 6 months..

after many mutual backstabbing..
they fall in love wid each other..

talking on the phone wid dallon..
from 12plus till 2am..
den andy n nicholas in midst..
but didnt pick up their call..
woke up at 9am..

i was rather stressed..
den when i called joshua in the afternoon..
he told me to go drink la..
i joke n ask him acc me..
den when i call him in the night..
he was at boat quay..
his frenz last min ask him, n he didnt stayed for long, coz the next day he still hv work..
thus i didnt went down to find him..

8 may thur

having headache from sat till tdy..
den i took 1 panadol on tue night..
wed night cant slp lo..
took 2 slping pills..
but only slept from 12-4am..

dallon went to moe for interview..
goin to be pe teacher sia..
den he ask me go ntu..
coz near to nie..

i was on yahoo news ..
health in particular..
when i shld be covering abt the cyclone in Myanmar

sleep and illness..
ATLANTA - People who sleep fewer than six hours a night — or more than nine — are more likely to be obese, according to a new government study that is one of the largest to show a link between irregular sleep and big bellies. (faints.. i dun want to become obese)

Stress or psychological problems may explain what's going on with some of the lighter sleepers, experts said. (true)

Other studies have found inadequate sleep is tied to appetite-influencing hormone imbalances and a higher incidence of diabetes and high blood pressure, noted James Gangwisch, a respected Columbia University sleep researcher. (faints again..)

sexuality..
SANTIAGO, Chile - A working class suburb of Chile's capital began handing out free Viagra to senior citizens on Wednesday. Lo Prado Mayor Gonzalo Navarrete said he launched the program because "an active sexuality improves the overall quality of life" (lol)

In US, government statistics showing that one in four U.S. teenage girls has STD and 30% of U.S. girls become pregnant before the age of 20. (@@)

anyone want 2 weeks free membership at california fitness?
orchard branch..
2 weeks free use of facilities, group classes, personal trainer..

chatted wid dallon for awhile working..
he called me wid regards to the thingy above..

aggie called in the day..
sry cant help coz i haven get atm card yet..
how patient can ppl get..
when they are already desperate..
everyone will want to be like nicole..
yes, i m questioning..

went out wid gary for dinner..
dim sum n desserts at chinatown..

an apple a day keeps the doctor away..
an sms a day keep me smiling away..

11.51pm-1.24am
42 sms in 45 sms out
i told him i miss him 3 times ..
n i love him 2 times..
probably the 1st time i m so desperate for him..
dun ask me wat e outcome..
there is no outcome at all..

jun 18 he goin ord le..
after tt goin europe for 2 weeks..
family gathering..
for who he is..

tml offday..
got to go tanglin police division hq at 2pm..
den go ica, give them my old ic..
take new ic.. den go bank get my atm card..

went out wid si ni to far east..
she needed to get a pair of shoes..
met her at khatib platform..

she went to 2 shops..
white dun hv size le..
so eventually she bought the black one..
she oso bought a pouch from urs inc..

she went to do hair extension..
i shaped my eyebrows..
had chicken rice n avocado milkshake for meal of the day..
i went to pierce ear at 77 street..
4th time on top de..
1st time coz mrs oh catch (aiya no more sch days le =)), 2nd time went to do hair, 3rd time the bits n pieces gal pierce the position very out..
i spent $38 in total today..

i realized i have been blogging alot.. seriously..
n i will smile when i dun want to ans the questions..

si ni played this song on the train to orc..
The Reason. Hoobastank..
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

jay was classified as bastard material..
trying to care.. care already..
i xin dong liao then dont care again..

tears flooded..
i will b well tml after my slp..
hopefully.. if not boss goin to nag again..
he told me if he is so good, y dun he juz come back to u..

i pulled through the 2yrs life of jc becoz of u..
wanted to get into the same uni as u..
but now i m juz lost..

This is copied from a post posted at hardwarezone forum..
spencer put up the link on his private nick..
Take some time to read if u are bored or if u care..

What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bull**** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

To all the nice guys out there... Stay true to urself even if it means u cant get the gal. This is wad i call MAN!

i m sorry..
perhaps i did too..
i didnt know wat type of revelation this is to me..

when i can really get on with my life..
n i dun hold on to it anymore..
but i duno how long it will take..
i know this is doin me no good..
but i simply cant..
i refused to believe so..

watched untraceable, superheros n horton..
online stream..


superhero is a dumb n lame show..


untraceable was abt serial killer, technology..
owen's dad was being laughed at when he committed sucide..
so due to hatred, owen started to set up a website call kill with me..
the victim die faster when the hits on the web is higher..
1 cat, 3 guys n 1 woman..
but the woman managed to stay alive, n killed owen..


horton was nice..
it tell us to stand for what u believe..
n a life is a life, no matter how small it may seems..

zhi heng oso get into nus com eng..
n he goin to charge me 100 per hr to stalk jay.. =(

having serious headache on sat..
threw tantrums on gary..
having xiang si bing..
den eileen told me to find some guys to cure it..
cant wor.. hai..
she added uni got lots more guys around..
well.. lets see how fate goes..

jay did replied me at 12.34am..
ask if i was on msn..
another msg came in at 1.46am..
content shant reveal..
i was asleep.. at 11.40pm..
i wonder if he did wait for me for tt hr..
all i know, i m left on my own for now..

didnt went for BF..
didnt went to ms to meet gary for dinner..
dun ask me y..
andy goin tw.. for ns thingy..
bon voyage n take care..

3 may sun

more updates regards to uni..
i got acceptance letter from ntu econs.. 3rd choice..
zhi heng got ntu com engin..
(if is nus com engin, den i ask him to stalk jay for me le.. lol.. oops.. )
den padro got nus computing..
he goin for ntu linguistics and multilingual studies interview on mon.. good luck.. =)
kenneth got ntu comp science
rui shan got ntu econs, nus project n facilities
kah lai got nus fass oso..
jes got nus sci.. but she wants to go food sci..
if she go nus, i oso want go nus le..

sch starts at 4 aug..
which is 3 months from now.. faints..
e prob lies is if i go nus fass..
i can get into econs or not..

so now i considering nus or ntu..
zhi heng, padro, alson, alvin, ting hui, gary ask me go nus..
roy will want me to go smu..
coz of the hostel issue..
den pam tell me, samantha says nus arts and socials is better..
n ntu econs is relatively new..
samuel say wait for sign from god..
he further added..
my brother s aid you know that's where God wants u to go when u have all the means of doing it..
like enough money and stuff .. u have inner peace..

ppl please give comments..
on which uni u suggest..
much appreciated..
anyway, all the best to all my beloved frenz.. loves =)

being very indecisive recently..
my lunch/dinner oso nid my frenz to decide..
wat uni to go.. oso ask my frenz..
wat phone to buy b4 go uni oso consult frenz..
jia lat la.. haha..

so tags.. which phone better..
n76?

continue from ytd night..
gary went from bedok to tam..
met him at coffeebean..
after tt went to cwp to watch over her dead body..




light.. comedy n romance..
kate was killed, crushed by an angel ice sulpture on her wedding day..
n she insist that angel muz hv wings..
the bridegroom, henry cannot get over wid it..
so henry's sis, chloe bring him to this psychic, ashley..

chole pass ashley kate's diary so ashley can relate henry wid kate..
ashley soon fall in love in henry..
n kate was around.. she try to break them up by disturbing ashley..
so it come to a pt tt ashley cant stand n they broke up..

tt the time when ashley cried on dan..
her 5 yrs best frenz.. n ashley tot dan was a gay..
dan love ashley once he saw her.. yi jian zhong qing..
dan went into partnership wid ashley into the catering biz so that he can see her everyday..
even though dan really sucks at cooking..
dan had to be gay for 5 yrs coz of ashley..wei da ma?

so eventually dan n ashley get tgt..
n henry was depressed..
kate was still a ghost to see henry to be happy..
in the end, she went to beg ashley to get back wid henry..

hm.. this is e part which i dun really like..
y cause so much pain when broken up..
n now he is back again.. well..

3 may fri

alright day started abit slack..
was viwawa wahjong awhile wid jordan..
he asked me go boat quay drink..
in e end i didnt go..

called joshua kor kor chat awhile..
heard from him tt he starting some internet marketing..
diversify.. like different streams of income..
called up andy n adrian too regards to work..

aggie n mong sms if i goin for AI conference today..
but i didnt go, even though Dr Clemen can be quite powerful..
i told roy.. in life, wat u want to do, this or tt..
its a personal decision..

dine wid alson..
fish ball noodles..
the only meal for e day..
long time since we really sit down n talk..

i comprised..
agreed not to throw my emotions on him again..
not to threaten him again..

2 encounters..
ask n it shall be given to you..

Affluence to influence conference..

Dr Clement Chiang (CEO of freely biz), Nicole Yee (CEO of CozyCot.com), Yeo Mui Sung (CFO of Mediacorp)

Dr Clement:
hardwork.
GPS - God, Pastors, Spouse
PPP - Prepare, persevere ,passion

Nicole:
do you believe in miracle?
childlike faith..
dream godly dreams..
be true to yourself..
seek Him 1st..

Mdm Yeo:
principles, integrity, excellence..
dont take life as a challenge. take it as an adventure..
must not discriminate..
only His way is perfect.
trust n obey..

Ps How:
Maslow's scale of human need..
romantic idealism vs pragmatic & materialistic realism..
can u be a good samaritan?

katsu ju for dinner..
ironically.. barcadi peach after dinner..

may 1 thur
alright early in the morning..
at 10am.. so tt means i slpt for 6hrs nia..

woke up by sms (rick n char)..
but i still slack on bed..
den rick call.. no choice wake up..
ans his call.. sort of say him..
coz when its labour day..
n yet i sleep lesser than normal working days..
n since he knew tt i went to sleep late last night..
its being so insensitive of him..

well.. i received nus letter..
arts n social sci..
but i only want to get into econs..
n this implies that my ntu n smu application for biz n acc may fail..
samuel n kelvin oso got nus fass..

1st person tt i inform was eileen..
2nd was jay..
if nus, same uni..
different faculty.. different area..
leave it all to fate ba..
indescribable emotions n feeling..