slp at 4am last night, woke up at 10am..

today rested at home..
just felt so drained..
followed through webcast lectures n more readings..
doin tough tutorials n msn chatting..

if u wanna disappear from my life..
i wont stop u.. at least let me know..
n not mia just like tt..

i m so weak w/o him

reach cine at 8pm..
bought a pair of havianas from NUM..



saw a black jacket at adidas, guy's design nice..
got 15% discount, which will be $103..
didnt buy.. yep..

watch love matters at 9pm..



supper dim sum at desker road..
reach home at 1am..

had been thinking of him the whole day..
n didnt get any surprise from him..

i knew that the ending will still be the same..
i will get used to it..
towards ya hot n cold..

爱我还是他 - 陶喆
这是不是命运对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法
恨你也没办法

went to funan in the afternoon to meet jing heng to collect books from him..
i missed psy tut today..

22nd jan i sms u, u didnt re.
25th jan u sms me, said the otehr forget to re.. i purposely didnt re u too..
29 jan u ask when i m free.. i said tml..den u say u tml nt free..
mr r: sat?
xue: not free..
mr r: sun?
xue: not free too..
mr r: mon?
xue: not free oso..
mr r: den when u free?
xue: duno, tml.
mr r: tml after i done i let u know
xue: i wont wait for u.. coz u nv let me know..
mr r: mayb next week la..
xue: i next week wont b free.. super busy..
mr r: ok.. see when u free then we meet k. let me know again..
xue: i alr said tml i m free.. de rest of the days nt free.. yep.. wait till public holi den ask me again..
mr r: ok, sorry..
(n i nv bother to re back)

ha. dun ever give me attitude.. sucker..
n i will nv go out wid u again.. bleahs..
y do i hv to give in to u.. eek.. disgusting freak..
wat an arrogant, self-centred guy.. pui.. LOL..

Taylor Swift - Breathe
It's 2AM
Feel like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

went vivo.. lots of places having sale..
having bad headache beside the disturbing cramp still ard..
yes i m weak.
n he is nt there.

my purple jacket has arrived..


i duno if i still could trust u..
britney spears - shattered glass
Was it really worth it?
Was she everything, that you were looking for?

having cramp.. =(
10min of whine n crap wid baby makes my night..

from hana yori dango korean ep 7..
if friendship is mandatory, love is a necessity..

it is goin to end in ard 160 sms..

26 jan mon

afternoon pai nian..
evening watch all's well end's well..
at amk hub, wid richard.. went to kfc to chill n eat n catch up b4 movie..


the pain he inflicted on you, has inflicted on me..
n i still have to fight for my cause. in the end, we did nt reach mutual understanding.
if your conscience is clear, you would not feel as much as u felt..
it time for me to say bye.
lastly, on the fact tt i knew tt u may break down anytime.. i shall ______________

1st sentence in relation wid family, 2nd sentence was abt the whole conversation wid yassy, 3rd was meant for those who are guilty. 4th is for agnetta, 5th is for the one who knew..

the scariest thing is that i could still fake out a smile..
anyway, thanks kara n swu wah for tt..

25 jan sat

alright, a recollection of ytd..
it was a bad day.. full of tears and trauma..

1stly, i couldnt imagine wat will happen if jay was to come n find me, if he doesnt have to go to malacca to have a reunion dinner wid his relatives..
2ndly, i disappointed him. i told him after much of crying, i m tired n i gotta slp early, hence couldnt wait for him to come back to sg n have last min of communication b4 he fly off to taiwan.. he waited from 1.30am - 2am or more.. i knew he muz b disappointed..

3rdly, baby suprised in the evening at 7.49pm..
he called again to check up on me at 11.34pm..
he wanted to come find me, but due to mum calling him back, he couldnt do so..
4thly, he asked if i understand his tiredness..
n i said, mayb my brain understands, my heart dun..
i fall asleep wid my lappy on..

18 days nv see him alr.. we have broke our record..

24 jan sat.

played whole night of mahjong ytd wid eileen,zhen yeow n jun jie..

baby asked if i am free to meet for a few hrs..
but i nid to meet ppl at 12pm at city hall to collect masks..
plus having tuition at 2pm..
thus i m only avail after 3.30pm..
however, he is only free b4 tt..
hence we couldnt meet up..

thur i suddenly tot of something in the evening..
i finally could understood the extent of tiredness..
n i hv hurt 2 Js due to my willfulness..
it was really late for me to understand that..
nobody can b ard me 24-7..

i still the same old piggy..
who wished for more slp.. who wants to slp more..
but i couldnt nw.. bcox there is juz so many things to do..

i gave him a call, because i wanted to hear his voice..
wanted to let him know tt i miss him..

when i m desperately in nid for u..
when i really nid tt hug..
when i really want to hear your voice..
i hadnt seen him for 17 days..

happy cny! =)

my mood turned better when my mama bring me 2 mails! loves..

1st package:
Shills Miss perfect pore hide : $17.80


Shills purifying peel off mask $14.90


free gift:
Anosa薏仁甘草美白面膜


La Mater Superior Camellia Oil Hair Capsules 山茶花護髮膠囊 ５粒


2nd package:
2 Palgantong Powder (OB) - $10.40

23 jan fri

4 hr of lec..
2.30pm got rp.. some1 is late.. so the whole group gotta stay to wait for the gal..
den went to slack at lib wid yvonne n jun hui till sw lec..

after sch went to ps..
i called them at 2.14pm to prewarn them tt there will b many ppl..

the situation was my phone was low when i left sch..
so on the train.. si hui called 3 times, n my phone went flat..
n it was my fault tt i couldnt contact them, juz in case if nt watching this movie, i dun1 2 watch others..
as i have pre-warn them, inkheart left 1st row, when they went to buy the tickets..
instead, desmond bought love matters..

when i reach there, n i knew about the change in movie.. i told them i nt watching n i left..
last min got 2 ppl, ee loo n duno who is joining in, so i gave up my seat..

this movie outing is nt a impromptu thingy..
is nt like we met out, n suddenly we wanna catch a movie or wat..
they have planned 1 day b4..
n no1 made the effort to go down to book the tic earlier.. or perhaps do online booking..
(no extra money, this is wat they response)

but i suppose this is the responsibility of the organisers..
if a movie outing oso cannot organise properly..
i knew ppl are in the zone events thingy..
wao.. i really wonder.. how they managed to deal wid big events..

as wat the church preach, be faithful in the small things..
den only you can handle big things..

2ndly, this is directed to those volunteers staff (tl,ptl or watever post)..
i dont understand y u gotta make things difficult when ppl want to organise movie outing.
we work in a team, thus i also believe u shld understand cooperation.
previously, i had mentioned that this movie outing is not impromptu..

i supposed u have been trained on how to plan, n work around your schedule isnt it?
so is it really hard for u to see if u could fit in the 2 hrs of outing, and confirm b4 hand whether u can make it or not, and not everytime confirm on the last min?
yes, i knew you have work to do in church, and perhaps u nt sure wat time u will finish..
den i reassert my statment that i believed u had been trained in time management..

2ndly, i will like to mention, i also believe that u learned abt prioritize..
even you are unsure abt if u can make it, but according to the rule of priority, u can gauge if u think the ____ work is more important, or ppl work is more important..

hence, i really dun get it..
perhaps some1 can explain.. n teach me why..
juz in case people thinks that i m being ridiculous n demanding..

yes, i left because i was disappointed..

22 jan thur..

baby call ytd night..
but i hope tt he can slp earlier..

woke up at 7am..
reach sch by 9am to do appeal..
gotta wait till 28 den know the results..

jay: jus hope u can go thru there few yrs. ready for cny liao?
xue: nods.. got dresses n heels..
jay: wow.. sure looks like princess de lor.. i'll b flying off on sunday morning..

evening, 4.30pm
xue: still in sch?
jay: yes.. anything?
xue: nah, juz 1 2 whine..duno how come these few days so exhausted..
jay: if u r exhausted coz u mug then its's ok.. but not on those nonsense de la..
xue: i want hug hug =(
jay: tight hug.. muacks..
xue: not warmth enf.. haha.. wat ya doin now?
jay: texting wid u lor..
xue: n?
jay: thinking of u lor..
xue: think wat abt me? so waste time, nv do anything else?
jay: everything lo.. aiyo.. can or not? cannot den i try not to think lo, try only hor..
xue: can.. lol.. dun nid to try..
jay: can den still ask so much..
xue: den wat u was doin before texting me?
jay: waiting for ya text lor..
xue: oh, alright den..
jay: wat u doin beside texting me?
xue: online..
jay: so fast at home le? good life leh..
xue: later still got tuition.. where got good life.. =( sob..
jay: so u will stay in sch then go for tuition later?
xue: nods..
jay: take ya dinner 1st b4 u go for tuition..
xue: u acc me eat?
jay: u think i can acc u eat ma?
xue: haha.. nvm den..
jay: u know i nid to acc who eat dinner ma.. my mum asked her to buy so many stuffs to bring to taiwan.. i'm the one to carry while she buy..
xue: haha.. sayang, be a gentleman la.. btw, u can acc me eat, but u can dun eat de.. juz look at me eat..
jay: cannot la.. later i sure hungry oso de lo..


i didnt know again how come i got 2 long scratches on my arm.. aw =(

had lerk thai beef noodles for lunch today.. queue was super long..
chiong 4 rp today.. still got 7 more to go = 3 n 1/2 hr..
evening having tuition.
cg watching inkheart movie at 6.55pm tml at plaza sing, doby ghaut..
gotta rush down after sch..i ends at 6pm ar..

i spent $135 in jan.
pics will be up whenever my stock arrives..
all online transactions..

Purple long jacket: $15
Tokyo fashion black cardigan: $15 (juz plain normal one lo, i dun like bugis st material, but lazy to go zara/cotton on see liao..)

the rest is 女人我最大 products..
calorie off big thighs massage shaper fats buster $14.70
5 shiseido black mask $3.5 (bought wid evelyn, she bought 10 eye masks)
Bb cream $18.90
Shills Blemishless Pore Hide and Heal Cream $14

1st 2 items recived..

Double eye-lid clip: $3.50


Bra pad : $7

21 jan wed

woke up at 9 today..
suffered afew injections..
dun ask if i got scream n yell..

after was home n rest..
hui qin wanted to go bugis shop..
i m juz too tired wor..
haven even revise schwork..


i dun believe all NUS students will agree to this..
in term of CORS bidding..


i didnt know where these 2 scratches came from, n how it landed on my thigh..

after all the whining ytd night..
baby called me to hong me slp.. was so shocked.. but love it..
coz he is simply so cute.. haha..

i started whining very early at11.23am when i sms jay..
he was in lec..

xue: i got 2 tutorials to ballot, n i m left wid shitty timings.. sian..
jay: i pushed u real hard during ur jc time.. but now u in uni le can i say tt i shall let other ppl push u? lol..
xue: NO. i dun care.. u prob sighing now.. haha.. who ask u to b my old frenz.. bleahs..
jay: haiz.. aiyo! if i can do it, i dun c y u cant.. dun give up when u r alr there..
xue: i want hug hug.. =(
jay: so early wanna hug?
xue: ...... sob.. T_T
jay: can, tight hug, add on a muack..
xue: wah.. so nice! ok, i goin for lec le.. ttyl..

12pm.. his lec finish, mine juz started..
after 2pm, he alr left sch..
so i got 2 hr of break..
b4 my rp start..

xue: aw.. i m so tired..
jay: tot u had a few hrs of rest... nt enough?
xue: i ytd slp at 3, woke up at 9.. i piggy leh..
(i stayed up coz was looking through which tut to ballot, n which rp to participate..)

so duing the rp, gotta off phone..
went to find eve at the forum after rp..

4.30pm
jay: gg back now?
xue: no, still got tuition later..
jay: so poor thing.. sayang sayang..
xue: ya lo.. haha..
jay: then how?
xue: cant do anything =( haha..
jay: heng ar.. tot u will ask me to do smth.. (lol, i know i m demanding, bt.. haha..)
xue: lol.. i not like u, i not bully.. bleahs..
jay: but u willingly let me bully de ma.. no meh?
xue: lol.. win liao lo.. haha.. i eating dinner at sci. want to slp liao la..
jay: wat time leaving sch?

didnt re him as i was havin my dinner wid eve n 2 other gals.. seok n i cant remember =(..

5.50pm
xue: tuition at 7.30pm, now leaving sch.. ya parents in sg?
jay: no.. gg to taiwan this sun to meet them there..
xue: oic, ok, will sms u on sat again for wishes..
jay: dun nid sms la.. wana swim for awhile now then go for dinner..

while i was on train from je station..
i managed to get a seat..
n started to on my laptop n go online..

jay:wei
xue: yea?
jay: hm?
xue: on train
jay: so crowded still can use laptop.. super
xue: sitting down
jay: heading where?
xue: seb
jay: sembawang? far...

xue: lol, ya.. u swim so fast de meh?
jay: few laps nia
xue: icic..
jay: my pool not tt big la
xue: where u heading for dinner?
jay: my sis decide, not me
xue: btw, i still got 1 more tutorial cannot get.. nid to appeal liao..sian
jay: as i said i cant really push u le, gtg for dinner.. bb
xue: ok.. tata

20 jan tue

this is goin to b a whining post..
coz i got 2 tutorials not allocated yet..
n the leftover timings are shitty..
so i went for another rnd of ballot..
n i chose 8-10am slot for psy.. 10am-12pm for geo.. ( i managed to get the slot for geo)

reached sch at 11.15am..
went to lib to print notes..
after tt deck to buy fruit juice (avocado milkshake) for myself, n snack for evelyn..
coz she 6 hr straight of lec..

havin lec from 12-2pm.. wasnt really paying attention..
was looking through jordan's ec essay..

2-3.35pm slack ard in lib..
help jessica n eve print notes..
had rp from 4-4.30pm..

while i started giving tuition, aggie n jordan were at sentosa..
called n sms if i wanna join..
very late liao.. plus i really shag..

at 9plus, jordan called me..
i got my tutorial balloting results.. i dint get psy tut..
so i whine to him..

my 1st option was mon 4-6pm..2nd option was tue 2-4pm during the 1st rnd..
so didnt get.. nvm, i even sacrifice my slp, n want to take up the 8-10am de..
oso didnt get after 2nd rnd.. now no more balloting.. only left online add/swap (tml) n appeal/manual registration (thur) ..

* la.. coz i alr put 8-10am.. (in this case i gotta wake up at 5.30am in order to go sch ey)
now my plan is to take fri slot.. den go appeal..
coz if 4-6pm, it will clash wid my sw..
if 6-8pm.. i will have like 10hrs straight w/o break? (crazy or nt?)..
i was so %@#&?!..

tml my clinic appt is at 10.30am..
my days start so early this week la..

i m tired.. n i really feel tt i m chionging for sem2.. for better grades.. for better cap..
things to do:
1. watch/listen to 2 geo webcast..
2. read psy book chap 3..
3. read geo book cahp 1 n 4..

i missed him.. badly..
i want surprises.. best is everyday.. coz i m a greedy gal.. lol..

jan 19 mon

alright met jessica at 3.40pm at wdl ctrl station..
suppose to meet her at 3.30pm..
reached sch an hr later..
n became to print out all the social work readings..

psy lec from 6-8pm..
after tt went home wid jes, mel n jess..
had ramly fish burger n tw sausage for dinner (unhealthy again)

i got tired of ppl calling/sms me to ask me do this do tt..
1stly abt mlm thingy, 2ndly abt booking of chalet..
so i gave attitude to my baby when he called me..
he muz b pretty stun when i said, what u called me for?
but he left me a smile on my face after we hung up..
well, i guess it was turns that i made his morning, n he make my night.. haha..

javier sms me 12.30am to go fly..
i m too dead to go drink or socialise wat.. yawns..

my week is kinda pack..

tml: i decide to go for geo lec despite havin webcast.. (or mayb not, depends if i really can wake up or nt)
got rp program at from 4-4.30pm.. (rp is abt participating in psychological experiments..)
gotta do quite alot leh for this sem!
7.3o - 9pm got tuition..

will try to reschedule my tpy clinic visit to wed afternoon 2pm..
i alr reschedule from thur 7pm to thur 2pm previously.. hope the clinic nurse wont curse n swear at me..
but i got 3 rp on thur.. 22 jan..11.30am-12pm, 13.45-14.15pm n 4-4.30pm.. 7.30-9pm tuition..

fri will be sch from 10am-2pm, 4-6pm..3 lec..

pon church last week.
blogged at 2am..
off to slp. n may nt b updating for afew days..
unless i m too bored in sch..

sometime it may b too late for u to tell the one u love, that u love him/her, coz the person has gone to heaven..
similarily, sometime it is too late, for u to give the concern to the one, after the event/incident/accident has happened..
cox the person may hv jump down, cut him/herself (which lead to scars staying there forever, unless go for plastic surgery), jus naming extremes to highlight the seriousness of consequences of u (over) neglecting some1 tt actually u have the heart for..
my relationship referring to all categories , be it family, frenz or bgr or wateva there is..

relationships isnt abt i didnt go to church, den only u start sms/call n ask y i didnt show up..
or it isnt abt when u nid me, in cases where i can provide u some benefit, den only u start to contact me.. (for general)
coz of 3 incidents this week, make me feel kinda nt good inside..

read it through, do i make sense?
i will smack u if u say no! lol..

or perhaps i get busy, stressed n all these other disturbing things juz didnt come at the right time..

18 jan sun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY CHOU!! wahaha..

ytd night was horrible..
i had headache.. so took 2 panadol.. slp at 1am..
woke up crying at 4am.. had a very bad nightmare..
cried for 45mins.. a very fearful nightmare..
shant leave out the details..
today wake up wid puffy eyes.. =(

after tt force myself to slp..
n had 2 further dreams..
1st 1 was abt me goin to hangout at duno who's hse.. (either jeslyn, wei ren or soo mei)
den we were at supermaket buying food to cook.. (mayb having steamboat)
so tian mu was teaching us how to choose the ingredients..

2nd 1 was in sch..
couldnt really remeber wat happen..
was talking wid hui qin..

i nid him to hong me to slp everynight la..
if nt nightmares goin to come haunt me again.. =(
n i gonna breakdown soon if these nightmares continues..
he called on 16 jan night.. n i slpt peacefully..
so he really good in chasing away my bad dreams..

afternoon went to chinatown..
saw alvin n his gf..
den dinner at bugis..

britney spears - out from under

I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

17 jan sat

woke up at 9am..
went to meet boon yan at my void deck..
she nid to pass me back the gp notes..

after tt went to buona vista to meet gary at 12pm..
passed him my gp n econs notes..
tuition from 2-3.30pm..
next week change to tue n thurs..

had cheese chicken meatball n double cheese burger..
seriously lack of fibres like veggie n fruits..

was on the train to church..
last min decide to go national lib to find jordan..
help out in their econs report..
played abit of viwawa..
after tt went jalan at bugis..

had famous duck meat kway tiao at the famous stall n shared rojak wid jordan for dinner..
went to bugis street.. coz i wanted to buy cardigan..
in the end oso nv get..
hang ard bugis junction, adidas n kinokuniya esp..
saw a very nice black colour jacket at adidas.. goin for $119..

home at 10.30pm.

Britney Spears - Out From Under
And part of me still believes when you say you’re gonna stick around
And part of me still believes we can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let’s just say goodbye
Forever

16 jan fri

had 2 nightmare ytd..
1st was abt mlm issue..
2nd one is abt me telling story..
i tok abt ppl infested wid caterpillar..
i really saw 3 guy have many caterpillar crawling on their bodies.. (goosebumps)
n i woke up in fear at 5.30am..

try to go back to slp..
woke up at 8am..
lec at 10-2pm..
macro lec wid jessica, evelyn n angie..
micro lec wid same listed above n sarah..

went over to biz sch to meet andy ang for his micro textbk..
i had fish porridge, eve had chicken chop at the terrace..
after was sw lec wid jessica, lynette n majella..

lazy to type out the sms conversation today..
but 2 encouraging stuff..
jay: i supposed u r mature enought to decide whether u wan this to go on.
jay: i gave u a push when u r in jc.. but i cant do it now coz i'm busy with my studies.. sry.. anyway, take care..

m tired. tt all.
somebody didnt make my day.

Britney Spears - Out From Under

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under

xue: wat u doin now?
jay: y so interested in me nowadays? lol..
xue: dots, so in sch?
jay: lec juz started (2.15pm)
xue: icic.. den talk to u later..
jay: nw my mind is full of u.. how to concentrate?
xue: lol.. dun pull my leg.. pay attention!

jay: lec ended. (3.50pm)
xue: aw.. i having headache..=(
jay: shld b shortage of water.. drink more water ba..
xue: shortage of water will lead to headache de meh.. i want head massage.. =(
jay: sayang sayang.. faster take a nap..
xue: sob.. u hong me slp?
(den i think i fall asleep)
jay:u always sick wan la.. later go c doc..

6.30pm
xue: i 1 2 take panadol, but later i got tuition.. i scared i fall asleep..
jay: u give tuition? call the student to make up another day. u need to rest..
xue: i dun hv their number.. =(
jay: u should know your body best.. if u can still go for it. den jus do it.. but make sure u back home early to rest..
xue: orh.. u have a good dinner.. thanks for the concern old frenz..
jay: i suppose i'm nt the only one who concern abt u.. anyway u r most welcome..
xue: hehe.. but ya concern is much appreaciated! =)
jay: later u take ur medicine n slp early k..

xue: do u hv sch everyday?
jay: no.. but i'll still b there..
xue: y?
jay: to mug
xue: no selfdiscipline to study at home meh? where u usually study?
jay: lol.. dun tell u.. faster go n slp la..
xue: =( y? i wont go spy u la!
jay: alright, after ya tuition, make sure u rest early tonight..
xue: orh.. will de..

(evening, while i was giving tuition..)
jay: u got ur baby, i'm jus your old frenz.. (prob he read my blog ba)
after tuition, i re..
xue: is u who say old frenz de ma.. now complain so much..
jay: sick ger.. faster go n slp.. dun talk nonsense le..
xue: i on way home liao la.. where got talk nonsense.. still concious oik..
jay: having dinner wid my sis now (9.47pm)
xue: now is supper la.. eat so late still wont grow fat.. envy~
jay: having crab.. cant really text.. sry.. juz make sure u slp early tonight..
xue: kk.. nights..

side note: he is so right abt two things of me..
1st.. i m greedy.. coz i want ppl to hong me to slp.. even though they alr showed their care n concern..
2nd.. __ guys n me juz doesnt work out..

alright.. i b good n slp early.. my head very heavy la..
plus tml 10am hv lec le.. >.<

15 jan thur

nt feeling very well today..
having intense headache.. blocked nose, nausea..
had maggie noodles, chicken cutlet, sotong ball n curry puff..
lots of unhealthy food..

baby called me last night.
i was really surprised..
it was unhealthy to wakeup in the middle off the night to call me..
hope that he will have more peaceful slp..

i m nt sure if u are insecured or wat..
you asked if i found a new guy..

i didnt call u coz u didnt re me..
i tot u were bz.. i m more understanding.. i didnt want to bother you..
i was shocked abt the hot n cold thing too..

i cant promise u much.. definitely nt those forever n ever stuffs..
but i m here.. as long as i drop u a sms every weekday morning.
no matter on time or late.. coz mayb sometime i really couldnt wakeup..
n as long as the avatar stays on my blog..

though you dont own my whole heart..
but you have a place in my heart..
n i'll b there, as long as u needed me..

pls be strong n dun fall sick..

we got a 9km distance between us..

第二顺位 - 罗志祥

我一直在 第二顺位 爱着你
一直从雨天 一直到阴天
一直到晴天 你逃离过去

14 jan wed

miscellaneous stuff..
had headache in the evening..

most fun thing abt today was crapping wid jay via sms..
arent it fun to read into someone's personal life..
nt e 1st time i post conversation between him n me though..

nt a complete thing, coz we talk abt his sis.. this n tt..

xue: are u in sch?
jay: y? wan to meet me ar?
xue: no leh, i at home, today no sch.. i guess u juz ended lec..
(coz he took some time to re me.. n he replied at 3.50pm)
jay: huh.. how u know?
xue: i nv spy u la.. juz random guessing..
jay: y suddenly msg me?
xue: y cant?
jay: anytime.. but do it only when your guy is nt beside u..
(so he tot i got a bf)

xue: dots.. (explain, etc..) n i ask: so met any nice gals in this sem?
jay: interested in me again ar?
xue: hehe.. i m interested in my old friend's life..
jay: we are always old frenz..

xue: u still in sch? doing wat?
jay: nt in sch le.. goin for dinner.
xue: oic.. nv ask me join.. =(
jay: nt havin myself.. you shld know wid who ba.. (wid his sis)
xue: i know la.. plus u got miss me? i think i m alil mad today..
jay: at times i do miss u.. mad abt wad?
xue: alil mad so tease u alot lo.. y miss me? miss me for? miss wat abt me?
jay: ya, i think u r really mad today.. lol..miss your wat.. well.. everything..
xue: define everything?
jay: everything le still nid to define? from head to toe.. included your heart la.. aiyo..

xue: u are so cute!
jay: old liao still cute!
xue: aiyo.. me turning 20 tis yr too..
jay: still got slightly less than 8 more mths to go la.. long way.. enjoy ur teen days..
xue: haha. u still remember..
jay: 13th sep ma.. always rem de la..
xue: woo.. i m so touched..
jay: dun hv to la.. you r still in my heart de..
xue: haha.. u still hv this sweet tooth..
jay: but is a fact tt u r still in my heart ma.. telling u the truth.. nothing to do with sweet or decay tooth..
xue: alright, talk to u again.. enjoy ya dinner..
jay: ok..

juz got this random mood to sms him..
though sometimes will see him online..

it will b really nice to embrace wat i have now..
to let go of all the disappointment, pains he used to bring..
using another status to accept him..
no matter wat.. he still think n care abt me at times, as an old frenz..
coz i have this lil place in his heart..

i knew that there will b no more hurt n tears..
it took me so long to give up n get over it..
coz some1 gave me that strength too..

many ppl may nt understand y he had such a position in my heart, my life..
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

britney spears my baby
Cause without you,
How did I get through,
All of my days,
Without you?

13 jan tue

baby was nice ytd (well, he is always nice, just nicer ytd.. haha)
he hong me to slp..
been ages he hong me to slp alr..

slp at 1am.. woke up at 9.30am..
snooze my alarm from 9am to 9.30am..
very good improvement of waking time compared to my holidays..
i normally wake up after 11am..

have only 1 lec..
from 12-2pm..
tml n thur rest day! woohoo..

this 2 days nt been very lucky..
though both days got seat on mrt..
but i gotta wait 6mins for the coming train..
aw.. i juz like to whine.. lol..
if train come fast, no seat, i oso complain.. oops.

after ssa lecture, went to chinatown wid qin n eve..
had laska for lunch..
eve bought a dress n a white top, while qin bought a pair of pumps.
den proceed to bugis..
qin bought a top, eve bought a dress..
eve n me went to shape our eyebrows..

reached home ard 7.30pm
den went to meet si hui at civic mac at 8.30pm..
she nid to finish up her maths homework..
nt to forget i had an apple pie, a double cheeseburger at near 11pm..
faints.. i m so gonna gain weight after cny..
those tempting pineapple tarts.. hehe..

reached home at 12am..

12 jan mon

alright sch started..
went sch ard 2 plus to meet shi en to get my psy book..
after slack ard at lib wid grace..

den meet jes n mel.. nid to pass jes her scarf, n mel gave me a lovely mickey n minnie notebook! she went hk disney.. sweet~


i m havin psy lec n tut wid them! =)
but they pon today.. n the lecture lasted for an hr only..
they liked my hair too! haha..
baby asked if i saw any shuai ge..
haha.. i dun flirt in sch wor..
last sem only knew 1 new guy frenz..

nus having party at zouk on jan 24.
prob ask evelyn if she goin 1st..


he is perfect, but we arent meant to be.

11 jan sun

went out wid gary (kero) to bugis for shopping!
he bought 2 top at topshop..
2 bermudas at bugis street..
saw baby too..
1 jacket from messy n 1 shirt from freshbox at bugis junction..

had nydc for dinner..
the monkey was juz behind me..


was alil didnt feel good when i saw tt sms.
but if it was me, i will do the same..
n all the unanswered calls..
perhaps i called at the wrong time, when u're in an inconvenient spot to pick up my call..

if time n chance allows.. i hope tt we can talk more..

王力宏 脚本
看完這個腳本　陷得好深好深
讓我如何演好愛你的人

10 jan sat

afternoon went to tpy to meet daniel.
to support his network marketing thingy..
listen for 1 n a half hr..

after tt went church..
had fish ball noodles for the meal of the day..
shi han told me abt msn 2009 version..
alright, i've installed.
(click pic to enlarge..)

1st- the icon colour status: green is online, red is busy, orange is away.
2nd- i think got more games?
3rd- the conversation layout.. dp on the left instead of right.
the nudge buttons below the text box.. n the text is bundle up..


got a personalize card from yassy..


n that was a belated xmas card from mong, pan n jo..
received it when we were picking up yassy from the airport..


dad n mum bought a bag from metro..
mum say i can use if i want..


next week, thur n sat teaching tuition.
maths n chi to a pri 4 boy.

9 jan fri

slp at 4am the previous night..
fret abt nt sure which timetable to stick to..
woke up at 9.30am..

went to watch red cliff II at cwp, 1.50pm show..


after tt headed for orchard..
at meal of the day at whisk, wisma..


my frenz bought a braun buffel wallet at taka..
rested at starbucks paragon..


hang ard borders.. but shant buy novels for now..
till i finish the twilight series n my 2 other books 1st..

shall leave out emotional comments for the day.
i m sleepy..

Cause all we had, is broken like Shattered Glass

alright got my 5 mods for sem 2..
ec 2101, ec 2102 lec got evelyn n lynette..
ssa 2202 lec got evelyn, hui qin n deborah..
psy, sw, ec 2101, ec2102 got jessica!

timetable 1


mon odd week: 4-5pm tut, 5-6pm break, 6-8pm lec,
even week: 12-5pm tut, 5-6pm break, 6-8pm lec..

tue odd week: go sch 2 hr lec only..
even week gotta take psy tut alone..

every fri: 10am-2pm lec, 2-3pm break, 3-6pm tut&lec..

the breaks i mayb alone..
though i can go eat alone, print lec notes, use lappy..

timetable 2

mon n fri chiong wid jessica all the way..

every mon: odd week 2hr lec only, even week: 12-8 w/o break..
every tue go sch for 2 hr lec only..
fri: 10am-6pm w/o break..

nt sure which 1 2 choose..

8 jan thur

watched marley n me..

the dog was some kind of disaster..
alright ending was sad.. the dog died..

jing heng is such a great person..
he even gave me his frenz contact.
shld i have any problems in ec mod..
i can consult him.. aw.. tt really nice.. loves!

i shall say my sem 2 timetable abit cockup coz i didnt get my econometrics n sg society mod.
nonetheless i still got my wed n thurs free! =)

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
逆转时光到一开始 能不能给一秒 　　　
等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

7 jan wed

9am force myself up to do bidding again.
super sian. dunno wat to take le la.. >.<
victoria say sg society not difficult but hard to score.
jing heng say landscape mod hard to score oso. aw..

buying shi en psy textbk n jing heng econs textbk.
i muz chiong for next sem.. for sep ar!

i learnt tt my baby dun like ginger in his food.
he encourage me to go out..
n nt to stay at home n anyhow think..

he ask if there anything i want to tell him.
he said tt i shouldnt just blog..
i didnt want to put extra load on him.

n i m sry, i had lots of misunderstandings abt him..
due to lack of communications.. i place wrong judgments on him..

it is easier for me to change myself..
slowly picking up myself.
to b more secured, to b stronger, to b more understanding..
alright, really gotta focus on studies when holis end..

thanks for the big warm tight hug.
thanks for the care n concern n comfort u gave.

msn adware is super irritating! lol..

though i may get disciple for this n tt on wat i blog.
but i m authentic.. (however, some post i didnt reveal my emotions too much..)
so i m sry, if u think i will stumble you..
or u may negative opinions abt me, abt the things tt i do..

6 jan mon

oh no! i didnt get my econometrics mod.
den force myself to wake up to bid..
but quota full alr..

i have to take myself in sem 3 alr.. =(
coz evelyn n jessica got tt mod..

this sem taking mirco,marco, social work, psy n 1 more sg mod ba..
good thing is odd week only mon n fri got sch..
even week mon, tue n fri got sch.. wahaha
alright.. i goin to b crazy mugger.. (just like the group preparing for their As this year)

i had a super weird dream ytd..
i dreamt of ps, cw n etc. a group of us was on some adventure trip..
i remember is something like cycling.
but i saw a dead crocodile (with alot of blood n creepy crawlies) on the floor..
super disgusting. plus a small bat flying in my direction..
i was sitted on some1 bike, den i keep screaming.
when we decide to get down to explore..
my legs turn soft..
after tt some1 piggy back me..

jan 5 mon

evening went to changi airport t1 to pick up yassy..
flight 3k 562 landed on sg at 6.22pm..


after tt went somerset wid wah wah..
she wanted to thread her eye brows..
but the shop closes at 8pm..

after tt went for late dinner..
i had japanese noodles ($4) n lemonade ($2.20)



following that was shopping ard wisma/taka..
didnt heard from him from any means today..
我依然牵挂着你

i knew this emotional attachment is doin us no good.
i m sry, but give me time to let go.

So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.

jan 4 sun

after all the tears, broken hearts, emo sessions.
i m well alr.. ate quite alot.
had fillet o fish mac meal, wid additional choco fudge sundae..
super full la..

acc si hui to suntec to buy her organiser from harris..
den popular card member got 20% discount. lovely..

i told her i will not buy anymore clothes in 09.
she say its impossible ey..
even baby oso didnt hv faith in me.. =(

but i still nid to get 1 black/dark grey long cardigans..
dun be surprise i dun hv any long cardigans, coz i only got 4 half cardigans, they say wear half will make your bust look bigger.. well..
n oso i want a pair of dark grey tights (i got the black one alr)
i nv include nt getting shoes, bags, accessories (like earstuds n necklace) ok..

gary (kero) sms me.. i was surprised n happy.
an old friend i knew since i was pri 6. (7 years liao!)
he goin ns in 2010.. n i super long nv see him liao.. i think since nov 08.. aw..

i misses him badly, yearns for him to hong me slp, demand for hug..
but he made my night! loves.. i can sleep smiling.. :D



i'll b wise n i'll wait..i do not fear anymore..
it's not the truth that hurts us but letting go of the lies..

2 nights of the new year, had been crying.
2 consecutive nights. coz of 2 different guys - 2 different J.

after crying to sleep. wake up wid puffy eyes, slight headache, appetite affected.
but it was another day.

3 jan sat

my baby is not feeling well.. aw..
hope he will b back healthy n strong soon!

watching movie at cwp at 12.50pm.


had pasta mania for lunch..

i had seafood pasta, ice lemon tea n apple crumble dessert pizza. (i prefer the banana choco de)
my frenz had spicy crayfish pasta, ice lemon tea n chicken wings.
so we kinda share the dessert pizza n chicken wings..

saw this interesting thingy selling at comic connection..


soft toy @ more than words..
selling for $109 each.. aw..
so big n cute..


currently having slightly long finger nails.
n i got prob taking out contacts lens.
in the end both of my eyes were reddish..
duno coz of eye cream or is it my nail poke my eye.
but i cut of the 1st 2 nails alr..

my orders for tokyo fashion has arrived..

order made on 20 dec.
it cost me $71 for 2 skirts, 1 dress n 1 necklace+chanel design pendant. (include shipping, registered mail)..

plus i bought this dress for $6.50 mailed from runawaydiva..

the material can see not very good.
gotta starch it when ironing..

receiving all e stuffs next week ba..
loves online shopping..
1 day i will buy bra from la senza spree.. wahaha.. oops..

at last i can talk to jay in a peaceful manner.
wid no overwhelming emotions..

2 jan fri

morning woke up at 11am..
hui qin call me regards to cors bidding..

went back to slp from 12.15pm -1pm
left home at 3pm..

went to 2 medical place.
waited for super long for my consultation..
my number was 31.. n its was only at 14..
den chiong to ttsh to get eye drop..
i reached at 5.50pm.. n it closes at 6pm..
i was tired after hrs of waiting..

malcolm gladwell - blink
having someone you love express contempt toward you is so stressful that it begins to affect the functioning of your immune system.

人的心是一个很神奇的东西，可以带来无限的喜悦，或无限的伤痛

王力宏 - 心跳
爱让我们流多少眼泪

i miss you..
do u miss me?

1 jan thur

woke up at 12pm..
lunch at home..

went to cut hair in the afternoon..
slightly bob.. den cut layer..
no more curl liao.. haha..
i got split ends.. so trimmed..
hair length shorten ard 2 inch?

refreshing n nice..
i really like it la.. =)



evening went out wid family n relatives for dinner.
had buffet at some biz park..


at least i m kind of in a better mood now..
coz i will treat jay as an old frenz..
n it wont hurt anymore..

baby said leave the past in 2009 and lets us move towards the new 2009.

however,i couldnt believe tt i cried so badly on the 1st night of 09.
perhaps i shld stay away from J.
at least i'll have lesser incident of incurring pains..
from crying uncontrollably..
it was terrible.. my heart juz went piang piang..

y did u had to unseal the memories that i had kept well hidden for the past 4 months.
i knew u didnt like all tt crying stuff.
but do not underestimate the power of your influence on my life.
yet i didnt have the courage to block you out of my life.

n tt when i really needed him..
needed a big warm tight hug..
to stop me from falling..

We were both young when i first saw you